Dark side of glamour
by Sophie Hull
Now I understand why my mum told me to be careful after dark. It wasn't knife-wielding robbers that she was concerned about, but the contaminating influence of the bad fashion trends that come out of the shadows. Suddenly girls who wear twin sets and ballet flats in the day step out doing their darndest to look cheap – ripped tights, belts as skirts, drag queen makeup and handkerchief-sized tops. I’m sorry, but when did the
hooker look become sexy?
My theory is that these girls are just having a bit of celebrity confusion. Well with Britney and Jordan as our modern-day role models, who can blame them? We were ready to believe the celebs in the ‘80s when they showed us that fluffy hair, g-string leotards and leg warmers were the height of fashion.
But any fashion victim with a few brain cells to rub together will have burnt all their photos and learnt from that painful lesson. So what if turbans and harem pants are, like, so hot right now? I’ll still end up looking like a male genie with a drinking problem.
It’s best to ignore the fact that Pamela wears uggs and that Mary Kate looks uber-cool in a flannelette shirt. Because the new cowgirl look just looks, well, bogan. And that brings me full circle to everyone’s favourite faux pas, the mullet. I’m not sure what it is about that extra bit of hair that creates extreme feelings in the population, but I’m sure that if we could resolve that cultural clash, we’d be well on our way to world peace. So here is a handy hint from me to you – following the brat pack is not advisable, especially since those genetically freakish beauties would look good in a plastic bag. Follow your inner fashion conscience instead and if it leads you to wear shoulder pads or high waisted jeans, by all means be my (badly-dressed) guest.
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